How
many times have we had in mind those phrases that our mothers told us when we
were children. Phrases that nowadays come out unintentionally in our
conversations. Wisdom is in them and many times I have seen the need to use
them in mediation processes. Phrases that have surely helped at a given moment
and that today I want to share with you so that you remember them and use them
like I do, they will surely help you to a great extent to undo a knot in the
negotiation of the conflict. What's more, if you have any more, I would love
for you to share them and so we can learn from them, from them.
"Every
cloud has a silver lining". This phrase leads me to the
need to see an opportunity where they see a problem, if they are aware of
taking advantage of what has happened to grow.
"Get
the junk out of your mind." The "garbage" is
everything that prevents you from seeing further and looking to the future to
find solutions.
"Count
to ten before deciding." Making decisions hastily will
not lead us to a good port. To the point of not reaching stable and lasting
agreements. You have to mature what you do.
"A
good deal is better than a bad lawsuit." Yes, I have said it
well. In truth, the popular phrase is different since it says "a bad
agreement is better than a good lawsuit", but I always wondered, is there
a good lawsuit? I think not
"Dirty
clothes are washed at home". We must not air the problems,
because the consequences can be unpredictable and, above all, magnifying what
happened will surely prevent us from landing at meeting points in the future.
"Show
me that it is worth dedicating my time to you." It is
a phrase that I wanted to tell you about because unfortunately I have had to
use it more than once, when I observe that the midfielders have no attitude and
we have the feeling that they do not want to reach an agreement and are
castling in their position.
"A
minute talking can solve a lifetime." How important is the
word? This phrase leads us to know that solutions for the future can only be
found through dialogue and understanding. It is important to let words
"fight" but not people.
"Don't
give up, the beginning is always the hardest part." The
important thing about this mediation process is the path we follow, since we do
not know what the end will be. Do not stop trying.
"Don't
make the most common mistake: assuming instead of asking." It
was always said that by asking you get to Rome; Well, in our profession it is
like that, the question makes us strong if we are capable of paraphrasing and
reformulating thanks to it.
"Peace
comes from within, don't look for it outside." It is
the only formula to be aware that we all have part of the responsibility for
what happened and only you, with your conscience, can like the
"alchemist" look for solutions in your heart.
"Don't
live in the past, we can't change it, don't imagine the future because we won't
know what will happen, focus on this moment, which is a gift and that's why
it's called the present." Mediation is a great
opportunity from today to change the course of your future, take advantage of
it.
"The
past hurts, but you can run from it or learn." It is
the only formula to get out of the ashes of the conflict, since this was an
opportunity to change.
"For
every minute you're angry you lose 60 seconds of happiness." What
a great truth
"A
positive person turns his problems into challenges, never into obstacles."
Thanks to this phrase, I always like to bring the mids forward. Where do you
want to go? Let me accompany you as if I were your travel agent
"Pain
is inevitable but suffering is optional".
Buddha, the great thinker, coined this phrase that I bring to you and that I
once said in a mediation process, especially a family one. It is very important
that you see this opportunity not only for your suffering, but for those others
who make up your circle.
"It
is better to be the king of your silence than the slave of your words." It is
not about if you are wrong to ask for forgiveness, that too; but above all to
be aware and have an important emotional intelligence that allows you to
measure what you say and what you feel.
"Peace
is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives to
respond to that conflict." We always seek peace, but
many times we confuse it with eliminating conflict, when sometimes it is
inevitable and I would even say good, to get out of your zone and improve in
every way.
"The
best victory is the one in which everyone wins."
That's what we are looking for
"Try
to understand before being understood." There is no better
phrase to make them see the need for active listening
"Tolerance
should only be a transitory state that leads to respect." Only
then will we achieve the long-awaited empathy.
And
this last dear friend or friend, as a gift. My mother used to say… “We have
two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak”,
tell them that there is no better phrase to define the process that we started
and that is to come.
Javier Ales
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