20 phrases from our elders that will help you in mediation

 

How many times have we had in mind those phrases that our mothers told us when we were children. Phrases that nowadays come out unintentionally in our conversations. Wisdom is in them and many times I have seen the need to use them in mediation processes. Phrases that have surely helped at a given moment and that today I want to share with you so that you remember them and use them like I do, they will surely help you to a great extent to undo a knot in the negotiation of the conflict. What's more, if you have any more, I would love for you to share them and so we can learn from them, from them.

"Every cloud has a silver lining". This phrase leads me to the need to see an opportunity where they see a problem, if they are aware of taking advantage of what has happened to grow.

 

"Get the junk out of your mind." The "garbage" is everything that prevents you from seeing further and looking to the future to find solutions.

 

"Count to ten before deciding." Making decisions hastily will not lead us to a good port. To the point of not reaching stable and lasting agreements. You have to mature what you do.

 

"A good deal is better than a bad lawsuit." Yes, I have said it well. In truth, the popular phrase is different since it says "a bad agreement is better than a good lawsuit", but I always wondered, is there a good lawsuit? I think not

 

"Dirty clothes are washed at home". We must not air the problems, because the consequences can be unpredictable and, above all, magnifying what happened will surely prevent us from landing at meeting points in the future.

 

"Show me that it is worth dedicating my time to you." It is a phrase that I wanted to tell you about because unfortunately I have had to use it more than once, when I observe that the midfielders have no attitude and we have the feeling that they do not want to reach an agreement and are castling in their position.

"A minute talking can solve a lifetime." How important is the word? This phrase leads us to know that solutions for the future can only be found through dialogue and understanding. It is important to let words "fight" but not people.

 

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest part." The important thing about this mediation process is the path we follow, since we do not know what the end will be. Do not stop trying.

 

"Don't make the most common mistake: assuming instead of asking." It was always said that by asking you get to Rome; Well, in our profession it is like that, the question makes us strong if we are capable of paraphrasing and reformulating thanks to it.

 

"Peace comes from within, don't look for it outside." It is the only formula to be aware that we all have part of the responsibility for what happened and only you, with your conscience, can like the "alchemist" look for solutions in your heart.

 

"Don't live in the past, we can't change it, don't imagine the future because we won't know what will happen, focus on this moment, which is a gift and that's why it's called the present." Mediation is a great opportunity from today to change the course of your future, take advantage of it.

 

"The past hurts, but you can run from it or learn." It is the only formula to get out of the ashes of the conflict, since this was an opportunity to change.

 

"For every minute you're angry you lose 60 seconds of happiness." What a great truth

 

"A positive person turns his problems into challenges, never into obstacles." Thanks to this phrase, I always like to bring the mids forward. Where do you want to go? Let me accompany you as if I were your travel agent

 

"Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional". Buddha, the great thinker, coined this phrase that I bring to you and that I once said in a mediation process, especially a family one. It is very important that you see this opportunity not only for your suffering, but for those others who make up your circle.

 

"It is better to be the king of your silence than the slave of your words." It is not about if you are wrong to ask for forgiveness, that too; but above all to be aware and have an important emotional intelligence that allows you to measure what you say and what you feel.

"Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives to respond to that conflict." We always seek peace, but many times we confuse it with eliminating conflict, when sometimes it is inevitable and I would even say good, to get out of your zone and improve in every way.

 

"The best victory is the one in which everyone wins." That's what we are looking for

 

"Try to understand before being understood." There is no better phrase to make them see the need for active listening

 

"Tolerance should only be a transitory state that leads to respect." Only then will we achieve the long-awaited empathy.

 

And this last dear friend or friend, as a gift. My mother used to say… “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak”, tell them that there is no better phrase to define the process that we started and that is to come.

 

Javier Ales